Traveling Light Ezine

Hi!

Welcome to the eighteenth edition of Jennifer Selby Long’s Traveling Light. Are you blessed with the talent and opportunity to lead? Traveling Light will skyrocket your impact and lighten the load inherent in your life. It’s based on the work of executive coach and management consultant Jennifer Selby Long.

Copyright 2008 Jennifer Selby Long. All rights reserved.

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Ever since I published the article on how introverts and extraverts can work together, people have been asking me how to know who’s who. Good question.

1. Listen for sheer volume of words. How many words does this person use to convey his or her ideas? Introverts use far fewer words in a day than do extraverts of the same gender, and will say nothing if someone else has already conveyed the message. The prize for fewest words of all goes to the introverted male and the prize for the most words, embarrassingly, goes to yours truly, the female extravert.

2. Listen for content. How much personal information does this person share? Do you know much about his or her life? Does he or she share personal anecdotes with many people or just one or two? Introverts share little personal information until they already know a lot about you, and often not even then.

3. If you have access to this person’s office or cube, take a look. The office of the introvert reveals little. A family photo, displayed where it can’t easily be seen from the guest chairs, and perhaps some awards for successful projects. If the introvert has any say in the office layout, there will likely be a physical barrier (sometimes a very large one) between his or her chair and any guest chairs, such as a large table or long, rectangular desk that doesn’t lend itself to sitting side-by-side.

4. Observe patterns of access. How easy is it to reach this person? Is his or her cell phone listed on the company directory? Does he or she have a private cell phone that only family and close friends can call (not that you would know – ha ha)? Does he or she have a Facebook page, and how well populated is it? Does his or her email signature include contact information or other information, such as favorite quotes? Extraverts put a lot of information out there. Introverts maintain more privacy on many fronts.

5. Watch for signals at the end of a meeting, particularly a long one. Does this person appear to be more tired or wired? Extraverts get energy from others, whether we want it or not, so at the end of a long meeting, the extravert will appear to be both tired and wired, even a little bit hyper-active at times. Introverts get energy from their inner world, so at the end of a full-day meeting, you won’t see any hopping about. In fact, you probably won’t see them at all, since they raced for the door at the first opportunity.

Perusing the calendar this week, I saw that Father’s Day is just around the corner. This got me thinking about my own parents and the many loving sacrifices they made for me. From sitting by my hospital bedside to forgoing many material pleasures to help pay my college tuition, they did it all.

But perhaps the greatest sacrifice Mom and Dad made was something that I now realize must have been the near sacrifice of their sanity. Yes, I’m talking about…drum roll please…the one and only…Bay City Rollers!  Surely you remember them, no? A boy band if ever there was one, the dreamy dudes every 12-year-old girl adored.

Yes, amazingly, in August of 1976, the Bay City Rollers played a concert at the world-famous venue of the Illinois State Fairgrounds. My friends and I couldn’t believe our amazing luck. THE REAL LIVE Bay City Rollers in our own state! The cutest boys in the world! Singing the best song ever written: S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT! S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT! Gonna dance with my baby to the rock and roll, on Saturday night, Saturday night. Little bit of rhythm and a lotta’ soul, on Saturday night, Saturday night…

But there was a huge barrier standing between us and the concert, and it was formidable. The venue was 112 miles away. My sister and I and our best friends were only 11 and 12 years old. We needed a driver willing to put up with us for almost five hours in the car, plus spend the day looking at chickens and cows at the State Fair, in unrelenting Midwestern summer heat and humidity. (If you grew up in the Midwest, you know what I mean. You can feel it right now, can’t you?)

My parents volunteered, or perhaps they got roped into it. I’ll never know.

In exchange for their kindness, they endured weeks of hearing about the Bay City Rollers prior to the concert.

Then they got to listen to us scream and squeal for the entire 150-minute drive to Springfield, while goofing around with our homemade tartan scarves, and intermittently arguing over whether Les or Woody was the cutest.

Then we screamed so loudly through the entire concert that Dad says they could hear the four of us over the rest of the squealing middle-school students.

Then they got to listen to us scream and squeal and re-live the concert for the entire 150 minutes driving back, amped up on cotton candy, for good measure.

Upon our return, we continued to talk endlessly about the Bay City Rollers because it turned out that Lisa Schmuck and Dawn Owens had been walking behind the venue before the concert, when the band’s van pulled up and they got out, at which point Lisa screamed and jumped on Les’ back, tearing a tiny piece of tartan from his shirt as the bodyguards pulled her off of him. But that’s a story for another day.

At least my parents could take small comfort in the fact that, mixed in with all the endless Bay City Rollers chatter, was the frequent exclamation, “Your parents are SO COOL to take us to the concert. You’re SO LUCKY to have such cool parents.”

I am lucky to have such cool parents. Thanks, Mom and Dad. I love you, too.

O.k., this is the last time I’m running this piece, but that photo is just so darn cute. Thanks to everyone who emails us and forwards this newsletter to your colleagues and friends. Our readership has grown an amazing 50% without even a proper promotional effort. What a rush.

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© 2008 Jennifer Selby. All rights reserved.

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Jennifer Selby Long
Selby Group

Email: Jennifer.selby@selbygroup.com
Web: www.selbygroup.com