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Published: November 9, 2006
Jennifer Selby Long, Selby Group 2006 |
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How to Communicate: Tips from All Types
Straight from the horses' mouths, here are the top tips I consistently hear from each type when asked, "How can others communicate better with you at work?"
Use these as a jumping off point for better communication with all of the Extroverts, Introverts, iNtuitors, Sensors, Thinkers, Feelers, Judgers, and Perceivers in your life.
And remember – it doesn't always take two to tango. By adjusting your communication techniques, you can build stronger relationships, even if the other person isn't consciously adjusting his or her approach to you. As the old saying goes, "A little change can change a lot."
Extraversion
- I interrupt you when I'm interested in what you are saying, because I talk to think – please forgive my rudeness and know it's really a sign of my interest.
- Likewise, don't hesitate to cut me off if I'm talking for too long or combining too many points at once.
- Don't hesitate to use me as a sounding board – I enjoy the interaction.
Introversion
- Don't automatically assume that you have to draw me out in a meeting – if something important isn't being said, I will say it.
- Send me something to read before we discuss it, because I prefer to prepare my thoughts.
- If a topic comes out of the blue during a meeting, don't assume that any decisions made in that moment are final -- I reflect on meetings after they are over, and if I find that I am concerned about the outcome of a meeting, I will raise the issue again. I would not feel ethical leaving it alone.
Sensing
- Limit the analogies – when you talk about "our buckets" it's too vague to be interesting, but when you talk about "our responsibilities," it makes perfect sense.
- Give me the specifics you have, and I can help you come up with the rest; don't try to fool me if you don't have the facts.
iNtuition
- I think in sequence from the big picture to the specifics – stay with me as we work through the big picture so that I can then speak well about the facts.
- Ask me about the specifics – sometimes I forget to bring them up if no one asks, and I am never insulted by the question.
Thinking
- If I argue or pick apart your point, that's often a sign that it has merit. I may forget to tell you what I like about your point or where we agree, though, so ask me if you want to know.
- Get to the point of the conversation. I can better participate in chitchat, and even appreciate it, after we've accomplished our business.
- I do have feelings, even though I may joke that I don't. While I don't need to be treated with kid gloves, I do notice and appreciate thoughtful gestures.
Feeling
- I also don't need to be treated with kid gloves. While I do take negative feedback hard, and I find conflict to be painful, I accept the importance of both.
- Take a little time to get to know me personally and to share a little bit about yourself as well.
Judging
- Show up on time. Plan your calendar accordingly.
- Make a statement. Don't use a question if you are making a statement, such as, "Don't you think we should go with the Smith report recommendations?"
- My daily calendar is real – I put on it what I expect to accomplish. If you need something else, give me a minute to think through what needs to come off of the calendar and where it will be repositioned.
Perceiving
- I ask plenty of questions, so taking the time to explore various options works better for me than grabbing the first option and going with it.
- When it comes to small decisions (such as where to have lunch), I would rather just share what I don't want and leave it to someone else to make the decision.
- My calendar is a dumping ground for everything on my mind. If you see the details of it, don't take it too seriously. I'm not crazy enough to think I can actually get all of that done in a day.
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